Wise Heart Coaching

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN MOVED

2009-11-20T01:04:00.001-08:00

Thank you so much for finding my blog, however, it has moved. Please visit my new blog site at http://www.wiseheartcoaching.com/whc_blog
I look forward to chatting with you there. Judith Auslander

Week Three at BBC

2009-10-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

OK, I am now finished with week 3 and I can see why Dave's comment means so much - work out buddy or at least someone to keep me for sabotaging myself. So, I don't believe in confession, but I am keeping myself and my followers honest - so I have to admit, I did not go on Tuesday. Why? Well, I was tired - really tired and feeling like I was getting sick. So, instead of BBC I ended up taking a 2 hour nap.
On top of this I have missed 3 weeks of my yoga class.
My head falls in shame.
But - I did go to BBC today and my ass was tired. OMG, she works us so hard. I mean the class starts out boom with moving around in a circle. Then the weights, bands, ball, push-ups - yikes! The good news for this week is not only did I make it to class tonight, but I also went up in weights. My heavy weight was a four pounder and I believe next time I am going to a five pounder.

So, where did you self - sabotage this week? Any place?

Week Two BBC

2009-10-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

Oh my God! My poor aching body! I don't think there is a spot left that isn't sore.

I have now gone only 3 times - once last week and two times this week.

Sunday I had gone for a 7 mile bike ride around Hillsboro. Now for those who know me - you need to know I stayed on my bike. I set out with the intention I would stay on my bike and not fall off. I almost only fell twice - but stayed on. I felt great. That was Sunday.

Tuesday was back to bootcamp and I felt OK. Today, I ache!!! But this is a good thing - right - it means I am working some areas (upper left thigh and hip)that haven't been worked in a while. When I was working out myself - I guess I missed certain areas that my dear instructor is finding!

So weights! I have graduated to my heavy weight and medium weight as 3 pounds - hey no laughing - I started with 2 pound weights. Next week I am going to 4 pounds for heavy, 3 for med and 2 for light. I am slowly moving up. You wouldn't want me to hurt myself, would you.
So, comments - where have you pushed yourself this week? Hummm?????

First Boomer Boot Camp Week

2009-09-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

I missed the first day of Bootcamp because of still being sore from my bike accident. However, I did make it to the second class today. I was able to do it, just kept the weights light and had some trouble following all the steps - but I know I will make it.
So are any of you in an exercise program to undo the years of not doing? What is it like? What keeps you motivated?

Boomer Camp Here I come

2009-09-21T22:06:00.000-07:00

OK, tomorrow I start Boomer Bootcamp. It is an intense workout program to get my out of shape bod into shape. So, here I am 60 years old and ready to start an having someone direct me how to work out. My body is scared. Two days a week! Doesn't help that I fell off my bike today - again!
OK I will post again tomorrow.

It's time folks

2009-08-30T17:28:00.001-07:00

OK, the time of complaining and making excuses is over. It is time to start putting some action out there. One way is to make new choices and one of those choices can be to live without fear!!!
I am starting a new Fearless Living course next month - September 18th. It will end right before the holidays. Those wonderful, horribly, awful holidays when all the family goblins come out of hiding.
Maybe this year you can escape the family tradition of upset stomach, foul moods, and gossip about old Uncle Henry and weird Aunt Ruth and instead experience joy, love, and contentment - yeah it is possible.
It is a choice! Make it a good one. Check out Fearless Living on my website and see if it might be just what you are looking for.

The Wabi-Sabi Way

2009-05-07T00:01:00.001-07:00

The Wabi-Sabi Way

As I read the magazine about the “way,” I asked the same question I am sure you are asking now - What the heck is The Wabi-Sabi Way?

Well, it is the “way” I plan on being and thinking from now on.

Wabi-Sabi is when you realize that you are not going to be perfect, your life is not going to be perfect, you are never going to look like Paris Hilton (that’s if you wanted to look like Paris Hilton). It’s also when you realize that your spouse is not perfect, that your kids will never be the genius that discovers the cure for why men go to war, and that you will not keep up with the Jones no matter how hard you try.

The term has Japanese origins and basically describes, “the beauty to be found in that which is incomplete or imperfect.” Wow!!!

So, now I knew what Wabi-Sabi was – but what does it look like? According to the article, an old weathered barn is Wabi-Sabi, as is that old worn t-shirt that you can’t give up, and that comfortable beat up chair from Fraiser. All Wabi-Sabi! In Japan an artist will make sure an art piece has one mistake in it just remind people of the concept of Wabi-Sabi. I guess I can call my dropped stitches in knitting as Wabi-Sabi - I will just pretend I did it on purpose.

But what would happen if we went through life deciding to NOT be perfect and instead to allow our imperfections to shine – our personal Wabi-Sabi? How would life become easier – less stressful – less complicated? How much would our blood pressure decrease if you said, “Oh, it’s OK – It’s Wabi-Sabi!?”

Wabi-Sabi is authentic and simple. It is a natural beauty. As we grow older, Wabi-Sabi allows us to be OK with the parts of us that change. A wrinkle becomes perfect imperfection.

Wabi-Sabi doesn’t mean we don’t try to do better, it simply means that we are at peace with things as they change. You never know how that change may work to your advantage. For example, when I lost my job a few years back I thought this is awful, devastating. But then I discovered coaching – and nothing has been the same since. It completely changed my life for the better. It didn’t happen in one day – it took time – Wabi-Sabi!

How can you make The Wabi-Sabi Way a part of your life? How will it change the way you see things? My suggestion, make Wabi-Sabi a conscious decision and enjoy the journey of life with all its imperfections.

Blessings, Judith Auslander

Baby Boomer's and Divorce Quiz

2009-04-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

Baby Boomers and Divorce: A Bumpy Road for Many?
A national poll is launched to determine how divorced boomers are holding up.

In the 1960s and '70s we burned our bras and draft cards, marched on Washington, founded Earth Day, elevated smoking pot to cult status, and vowed never to trust anyone over the age of 30.

Today, we are dancing wildly and waving our arms in the air to the lyrics of Chubby Checker's "The Twist" at "Oldies" parties, buying gifts for the grandchildren, and planning for our retirement.

Indeed, our generation—at once commended for our commitment to social change and criticized for our perceived or real self-indulgence—has matured and, now, we're going gray and developing arthritis.

We had such an impact on American pop culture that, in 1966, Time magazine broke with tradition and choose the baby boomer generation instead of an individual as its Man of the Year. But for some the "Me" generation is just beginning to pay the price, particularly when it comes to divorce.

The boomer divorce rate is triple that of our parents' generation, according to Ken Gronbach, author of "Common Census: The Counter-Intuitive Guide to Generational Marketing."

"They got married, they got divorced and half their money goes out the window," says Suze Orman, who receives many calls from divorced boomers on her show. There are so many issues to consider: financial, children, grandchildren—the overall relationship with their former spouse.

The post-divorce relationship boomers are having with their former spouses is wide and varied.

To determine if a consensus exists about how divorced boomers are holding up, Wise Heart Coaching is collaborating as a research site participant in a national poll being conducted by the National Association of Divorced for Women and Children and the Baby Boomer [Knowledge Center].

The poll is three questions and takes but a moment to answer. And how you vote is completely anonymous!

Click each link to to vote.

1) The most challenging part of getting a divorce for me was:
http://www.polldaddy.com/p/1557595/

2) What life skills would have been helpful when going through your divorce?
(for example stress management, coping skills and/or communication skills?)
http://www.polldaddy.com/p/1504675/

3) What is your relationship now with your former spouse?
http://www.polldaddy.com/p/1504679/

Thank you for participating.

The results of the poll will be published right here on our blog June 15, 2009.

It's My Birthday!

2009-04-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

It’s April and it’s My Birthday!

OK, we all have birthdays – but this is a special one for me – today I turned 60. I remember turning 50 and how very difficult that was for me. But 60 – well, it feels OK. I actually waited until my 60th birthday to write this because I wanted to be 60 when I wrote it. I wanted to see if I would feel anything different than what I was feeling, which has been and still is OK!

I believe that 60 is OK because I am happy – and I am happy because I made a choice to BE HAPPY! And yes, it is a choice – a choice we make everyday. I could choose to be disappointed, or sad, or old or numerous other things – but I have made a personal choice to be happy – happy with life, happy with who I am, happy with the things I am doing, happy with friends and family.

So, what happens when we make a choice to be something or to see something in a certain way? It happens! It is that simple. Our mind is a powerful tool that we can use to create happiness or sadness. If we only truly understood what a powerful tool our brain is – how are thoughts can literally create change – we would think a lot more about – dare I say – what we think.

We know that when someone is miserable, angry, or sad and they walk into the room – we can feel that energy around them. Our body and nervous system immediately respond. Now, what happens when someone enters a room filled with joy and happiness – we respond to that as well?

We really do have super powers – we have the power – each one of us – to bring joy or sadness into a room. How will you use your super powers?

And here is the fun part, if you walk into the world with joy, the more joy will come to you. Just as the reverse is true – if you walk into the world with anger, hatred, or self-pity – you will attract more of that. What do you want to attract?

In my case, I made a conscious decision about 4 years ago to change my thoughts, to change my way of looking at my life and the world. I decided to go toward the light and away from the darkness. I am not going to say that it was immediate – but I will say that like any habit, that the more I practice it – the more natural it seems – and thus the more the opposite just no longer works.

So, how do you walk out into the world? Make it a choice.

My birthday gift is that I wish each of you Blessings and more Blessing!

Judith Auslander,
Wise Heart Coaching

Big Move!

2009-04-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

I just made a big move in my life. My first big move was to go back to school for a second masters degree. I wanted to add to my coaching with spiritual coaching and entered the Masters In Divinity program at Marylhurst University in Oregon.

I realized after one quarter it was not the direction I wanted to go - more of an in depth study of the Bible which wasn't of interest to my direction in life.

So, I left my wonderful group of students and moved onto a Masters in Interdisciplinary Studies focusing on Geriatrics and I am thinking advocacy for seniors. Since it is, I guess, time for me to consider myself one. On April 14th I turn 60 - and I guess this Baby Boomer is finally going to have to think of herself and - dare I say - middle aged!!! So, it is time to advocate for myself and all the other boomers entering this unknown arena.

As per our tradition, we will revolutionize this time as we have every other milestone. I love being a boomer - and in fact - I am not at all troubled at turning 60 - it is actually kind of cool!!!

What are you thoughts in making sudden road changes? You have your mind set on one road and suddenly - there you are on an alternate road - and the scenery on this road an unknown - groovy man!!!

Fearless

2009-03-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

I have been really working on living fearlessly. What is funny about living fearless is that when you come across that inevitable "Wheel of Fear" it really smacks you hard. I had that happen to me just this weekend. My ego got in the way of being really honest with myself and when I faced the fear attached to my ego - boy did it hurt! I had to face that ugly, shadow part of myself and it wasn't pretty. Where have you faced fear inside of you? Have you found that the more you become aware the more it hurts to see that part of yourself? I would love to hear and discuss this with you. Write back!

Women Who Run With the Wolves

2008-08-04T15:11:00.001-07:00

Tonight I participated in my monthly reading group where we are going through the 1992 book, Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

What a great group! The members of our group are two women in their 30's, a man in his 40's, and another woman and myself in our 50's. The discussion is insightful, full of passion, and deep honesty. It is an honor to be with such a group.

Like many, I have always said, "I am not an artist." Yet, from the book we are reading, art is the way of connecting to our wild self - our "Wild Woman." According to Estes each woman must search for her "river beneath the river."

"She arrives there through deep meditation, dance, writing, painting, prayermaking, singing, drumming, active imagination, or any activity which requires an intense altered consciousness. She arrives there by deeply creative acts, through intentional solitude, and by practice of any of the arts." page 31

We are all artists! I realize the importance of honoring that part of myself more and more each day. I realize how much I limit my own growth as a woman and as a human being when I deny this essential part of myself.

Where are you limiting yourself, your full potential, your wild woman? What can you do to bring that part of yourself to life? This holds true for both men and women - we deny our true self the freedom of experience when we deny our artistic self.

When we live without artistic expression we live in the desert of our souls.

Can You Be Happy During Unhappy Times?

2008-07-02T11:23:00.001-07:00

Yes, you CAN be Happy During Unhappy times.

Much like many of you I was feeling the pressure of all the negative stuff around me - politics, gas prices, utility costs, food prices, job market, etc. I realized that it was not the best place for me to go. So, I did what I do best to conquer these things - I wrote a short e-book with a hang up poster on How to be Happy During Unhappy Times. It is free when you subscribe to my newsletter from my website (just look over to the left side of this page).

The thing is the newspaper, the TV news, even when you check out at the grocery store all you read is that things are "bad." It becomes habit to say everything is bad.

Here is the thing - this is true and untrue.

Yes, time are very difficult right now - but what makes this time even more difficult is our dwelling on it. My suggestion - stop reading the newspaper, stop watching the news, play with the kid in the cart behind you in the check out line - do anything besides scratching the wound. Every time you read or listen to all of this negativity it is like taking a wound and irritating it - it just hurts more.

Another suggestion, when your friend calls to complain (I am talking about simple complaining) about life, expenses, how bad the times are - tell your friend you would like to help them by asking them what is going right - there is always something going right. And if they don't want to look away from the darkness surrounding them to see any joy whatsoever - I suggest you tell them you love them, but you don't wish to be drawn in.

Here is why - miracles are everywhere! They surround us. The key is - you have to open the door and let them in. As long as we talk about the misery and disappointment around us - we are blocking out the miracles that are waiting - waiting right there - right next to us. Go ahead - open the door - let the miracles in.

I have inserted a video - My Stroke of Insight- which is one of the most fantastic U-Tube Videos I have seen. Take a few minutes and watch this unbelievable true story.

Write back and tell me the miracles in your life. I am listening. And remember to sign up for the continuing conversation by putting in your email over on the left hand side and hit "Subscribe."

Angels blessings to each of you.

Have You Ever Had One of Those Weeks?

2008-06-14T08:07:00.001-07:00

It started out with this great job offer. I am always looking at ways to increase the amount of cash so that things “flow” more easily from pocket to bills. This job sounded perfect. I breezed through the first interview – and was all ready for the second.

Everything went wrong! The kicker was a woman who worked at the place where I was applying. I was looking for a parking place and saw her walking out. She walked right past my car. I waited – no movement. So, I moved up and raised my hands asking if she was moving. She signed that she was not leaving. OK. But when I went into the interview, the man interviewing me asked why I had given “the finger” to his employee? OMG, no way did I do such a thing! How could she have seen my asking her if she was moving a “the finger?” However, the damage was done. She has worked for the company for six years – my profuse apologies for the misconstrued hand gesture fell on deaf ears. Friday I received the call that – they just didn’t think I would be a “good fit.”

I was angry – mad – frustrated. However, not long after I received my sad news, I got a call from my son in California. He wanted to share with me the wonderful news that he had just been offered a fabulous job offer. Wow!!! I so needed that. I told him about what happened to me – and sometimes – you know – that kid who has lived 25 years less than me – has a lot of wisdom.

He said, “You are better off – you wouldn’t want to work for a place like that.” And he is right. How come I didn’t think of that?

He reminded me that where you work and who your work with is a lot more important than the money you take home. Oh yah, I knew that – how come I didn’t think of that?

So, I was reminded to feel gratitude. Oh yah – gratitude – that is something else I often forget to have.

I realized that it has been a long time since I wrote in my “gratitude journal.” I will often go to bed and recount those things I have gratitude for – but you know what – writing them down is a lot more powerful. It also gives me something to look at when those “bad weeks” hit.

So, what do you have gratitude for? OK, I know you say “a lot” but do you really think about it and send a thank you to the angels? If you haven’t done it already, start a gratitude journal. It may be the same things day after day – but that’s OK.

Let’s start here. Share with others – share with the angels – what do you have gratitude for? You may spark something in someone else – “Oh yah – I have gratitude for that, too.”

Writing a Book!!!!

2008-04-22T09:09:00.001-07:00

I am so excited!!! I have written a book!!! For as many years as I am just about old - old enough to put words together - I have been inventing stories - eventually writing the stories down. When I lived in El Salvador I had a lot more time to write - amazing how much time TV takes away from creativity. Because of that "time" I have entire folder full of poetry.

So, now as a coach I felt that it was time to put my "wisdom" and "learning" into a workbook. Suddenly, I had the "time" that I had been missing - I was engaged. The writing flowed - almost too quickly. The book was written. Now it is published. People are buying it - reading it. What a thrill!!! I loved it so much - I am ready to write another book - title and cover art - it is all in my mind.

The point is - where did I suddenly find the time? I found the time because I became passionate - engaged - action oriented over just wish or thought oriented. It was something I really wanted to do. I found joy in it.

What are you not doing because you don't have the time? If you added passion - could you find the time?

I would love to hear from you about this.

BTW, my book is "The Power of Goal Setting-Transforming Thoughts Into Action!" and I am selling it for $14.97. Could some goal setting help you find the time to live your passion? What is your passion worth? Is it worth your time?

Talk back to me.

Spring Fever

2008-02-20T04:12:00.001-08:00

OK, the days are starting to get longer, but it still isn't spring as it is still raining and gloomy most days. So, I think it is the perfect time to read a book. Any suggestions on good books to read? What have you read lately that really brightened your life?

Or, how about writing a book? I have decided that I am going to write a short book on self-sabotage, fear and goals. Sounds like a hefty project, but I don't intend it to be. I want to write a small book - no more than 100 pages that I can self-publish and sell at a Mind, Body, Spirit fair in Portland in April. Have any of you self-published before? Any suggestions?

25 Ways to find Joy - Not one cent

2008-01-30T15:44:00.000-08:00

Hello dear friends, My wonderful Fearless Living Life Coach, Joseph, has given me another assignment which I am going to ask for your help with.

On my Wheel of Freedom, my "core need" is Joy. It is to not only experience Joy, but to bring Joy to others, which also brings me Joy. So, it is a circle. Since my greatest joy comes from coaching and taking classes that build my coaching knowledge, he wanted me to stretch myself.

Since Joy is a core need, it is pretty important. My assignment this week (along with a lot of other stuff) is to list 25 ways that I can bring myself joy that does not cost one penny. Not one penny!!!

I can think of a few things: 1) Getting a book from the library - doesn't cost anything that way. 2) Knit something from my stash of yarn (knitting is my mediation.) 3) Taking a nap with my cockatiel, JD - my bird brings me joy.
4) Having friends over to talk and share. 5) Renting a funny or old movie from the library.

Now it starts getting more difficult. Can't cost a penny!!! That leaves off going anywhere because gas costs a lot of money. So there goes the beach or mountains. Five is like about 20 short of the assignment. Help!!!!! He loved the comments about crying - now we have this one. I could really use your help. Thanks, Judith

WOW!!

2008-01-27T09:44:00.000-08:00

I am so impressed with the responses. Many have really touched my heart. I feel blessed to have received so many - that you have taken the time to respond means a great deal to me.
One friend who preferred to remain anonymous wrote the following:
"Here's what I have to say about crying - just off the top of my head:
I think tears are a way of cleansing the soul. Tears don't let us lie to ourselves; they are a true sign of our deepest feelings. They are the most human part of being human. They reduce our stress. They are whispers that communicate with spirit, heart, body and mind and connect them to each other. When we let the tears flow and take time to truly consult with them and to reflect upon them, they will take us beyond emotion and into deeper meaning in our life. We should be grateful to our tears, because they tell us who we are and how we are right here, right now. No lying.
So why, Judith, can't you and I cry when we have so much to cry about?
Yours, in loving tears."
Again, thank you so very much for sharing - and please keep sharing - respond to each other. Judith

Welcome!!!

2008-01-25T11:29:00.001-08:00

Hello, and welcome to my Blog. I do not really know a lot about Blogging, so I will give it a go.

How about this to start? My Fearless Living Life Coach has given me an assignment that I need help on. During our coaching session I told him that I do not cry. I cannot even remember the last time I cried. It is just not something that I do. So, he asked me to ask 5 friends What are the Benefits of Crying and What are the Costs of Crying? What do you think? Are there benefits to crying? I am sure there are, I just usually end up with a red stuffed up nose, upset stomach and a headache - so I guess I see more of the costs. Besides, I just haven't had many things happen lately that have caused me to cry. What do you think? Is it better to be a person that cries easily or one that just doesn't feel sadness a lot so doesn't cry? I will be very interested in seeing your answers.

Judith - Wise Heart Coaching