Hello, and welcome to my Blog. I do not really know a lot about Blogging, so I will give it a go.
How about this to start? My Fearless Living Life Coach has given me an assignment that I need help on. During our coaching session I told him that I do not cry. I cannot even remember the last time I cried. It is just not something that I do. So, he asked me to ask 5 friends What are the Benefits of Crying and What are the Costs of Crying? What do you think? Are there benefits to crying? I am sure there are, I just usually end up with a red stuffed up nose, upset stomach and a headache - so I guess I see more of the costs. Besides, I just haven't had many things happen lately that have caused me to cry. What do you think? Is it better to be a person that cries easily or one that just doesn't feel sadness a lot so doesn't cry? I will be very interested in seeing your answers.
Judith - Wise Heart Coaching
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16 years ago
I do not believe it is better, nor worse to not cry. It just is what it is. If you feel no need to cry, then you don't. What is bad, however, is when a person is grieving, and does not cry. One may hold back the tears, the grief, and refuse to accept it and just 'let it flow'. Holding that back will come back to haunt a person. It is normal human feelings to feel, grief is part of being human; to deny it is to cause oneself problems. It may come back in a year, 5 years, or 15 years, but it will come back. And when it does, it will come back with a vengeance, 10 times worse than if one would just let grief run its' course in the beginning.
ReplyDeleteSome people are very weepy. Some are hardened to weepiness. I think most of us fall somewhere in between. There is a very wide degree of normalcy, so who is to say what is better for anyone else? We all have certain things that touch us more personally and deeply. For some it is not only sadness that can make one cry, but the magnitude of some things, such as love, or being in the midst of prayer, for instance.
So, benefits could be, avoiding going through whatever problem it is, later on in life , and worse......feeling better after a 'good' cry. "Happy" crying is always beneficial, to the one that experiences it, not that it can be explained in words to others.
Costs of crying could be a red, stuffy nose, being labled a 'crybaby', or being labled a 'normal human'. Now, if one cries continually without cause, it is actually beneficial because it will be noticed by someone, and hopefully they can get help.
So, to wind this up, being somewhere in the middle is best for mental health, in my professional and personal opinion.
Well, a benefit could be that holding it in is just not good for a person... so it is therapeutic in come way to let it all out. A cost is that it can leave you feeling totally drained afterward. So, to me it's a tough one! The body will be heard in some way or another... so when i have held in tears it comes out in pain...
ReplyDeletejust a few thoughts
Dear Judith,
ReplyDeleteFor me.... crying is a normal emotional response to grief. If I feel sad I cry. If I feel emotionally or spiritually touched, a moment of gratitude, sometimes I will cry.
And, sometimes if I am really angry I will cry.... This is not usually a response that I have to anger... but sometimes this too happens.
From your emotional friend,
BENEFITS TO MY CRYING:
ReplyDelete- feels good physically to release emotion through crying. My body relaxes, and afterwards I feel calm.
- Also afterwards I feel I am more spiritually open and available to others in my life. It becomes easier to connect with others.
COSTS OF CRYING:
- I cannot think of any.
I cry when I am profoundly moved by people's stories or actions I see them taking. I cry when I'm frustrated or enraged to release emotion that's getting in my way of accomplishing a goal. I cry when I feel loss. It's all about releasing the energy of emotion - which then gives me freedom to be how and do what I want.
Thank you for the invitation to explore this. It comes at a good time...
Kind regards,
Adrienne
Judith
ReplyDeleteGood job on starting your blog! It makes me want to just "cry" with joy.
I cry from happiness, appreciation, love, grief, sadness, sad movies, seeing my son on stage playing music. I don't know how to not cry. I read somewhere that it takes way, way more energy to "not cry" than it does to cry. The red eyes, stuffy nose or whatever is definitely worth the benefits of moving the energy. And that energy helps me in my business as well.
Debbie Sasser wrote:
ReplyDeletecrying:depends on why your are crying, I think..
Benefits: crying from laughing
crying with love
crying at a funny movie
crying holding a new puppy, kitty, baby
crying at a joke ala "Al Attack's"
Costs: red eyes
swollen nose
headache
get the hiccups
use lots of tissue
but, I believe you want to know: crying releases tension when it is done under benefits. When I cry lately it is under benefits as I have a hard time catching my breath as I am laughing so hard and crying. it is a wonderful feeling and brings other into the mix with you. it can be a fun time for all.
pain is usually associated with costs crying. most people have a hard time dealing with costs crying. they don't have the strength to handle it.
Crying is more than only an expression of grief or sadness. It's sometimes an expression of great joy, of relief, or simply overflowing with one of many emotions.
ReplyDeleteI was emotionally closed for a long time and tears were not part of how I expressed my emotion. I learned that when the tears came, I felt vulnerable and judged. It didn't fit with the image I chose to present to others.
As I've learned to move away from my image of how I am supposed to appear to others, I'm much less concerned about being judged and accept my vulnerability as part of who I am. In turn I've found that I easily tear up and sometimes openly weep, often more in joy than grief, and often when I am touched at a deep level. I used to protect things from touching me at that deep level and my fear of crying was a symptom of that.
A year ago I set a goal of shedding heartfelt tears once a week. Interestingly, it's been an easy goal to meet. Often the tears come from reading or watching something that touches me at my core, I acknowledge that, and give myself permission to feel that strong emotion.
Jack
Leah: Interesting question. I thought I would be able to come up with more but it was tougher than I thought. I'd be curious to hear the rest of your results.
ReplyDeleteBenefits: emotional release that helps get rid of stress and tension, the visual display helps others around you "read" you and treat you accordingly, gets people's attention
Costs: can be embarrassing when it comes at an inopportune time or with people you don't want to share that much of yourself with, messes up your eye make-up.
I love a good cry. I probably cry at least once a week. It's not that I have anything to cry about. I've got a pretty great life. I cry a lot while watching TVs and movies. Steve and I are a little embarrassed about this but we're devout viewers of "The Biggest Loser" (Not pan it until you watch it). Every week I cry throughout that show. I watch and connect with the participants which makes me cry. I also cried when I had to rush Kass to the doctor last weekend when she was screaming, writhing and crying with belly pain. Most of my cries I guess are empathy cries now that I think about it. I cry because I'm sad about someone's situation. It's interesting how some people cry and others don't. Did you see "The Holiday" with Cameron Diez? You've got to see it if you haven't. Cameron's character CAN'T cry, even when she wants to. It makes for a good laugh during the movie. Everyone's different. Your fearless living life coach seems to think that there's something more to your not crying than just not being the crying type. What do you think? I think everyone's just different. Did your family cry much? My mom and sister are also big criers and always have been. I wonder if it's genetic or a learned behavior.
Crying.... I think crying is therapy and it makes you feel much better. I just think its easier to do alone much of the time. You need to rent the movie Holiday with Cameron Diaz. She doesn't cry either. Interesting. I think its better to cry and then feel better then to hold it in. I just think sometimes you have to wait until you can be in a place where you can let it all out.
ReplyDelete